'Shor'

There’s a storm in the waves Who is struggling to find the shores, hit hard and then calm down,

It’s a storm I’m quite familiar with now, It’s a ‘Shor’ that’ll not let me sleep nor sit down!

Was it wrong to dream of something so pure, was it not sane to let it grow, 

There’s a fight between the mind and the heart, who wins and not, I’m really not sure!

I look around and the mind says there’s nothing magical planned yet for me,     

Whatever the heart tells you, is a fantasy, a myth to be embellished in the ink only !

The time is giving up hopes now, on the demands to be heard of,

 I tremble yet again as Dady’s little gal is yet to grow big, a little, just a little more!!

‘Shawa wai hun Jago ayiyan, balle wai hun jago ayiyan’  :D was the shor in the city as we started the first wedding celebrations of my cousin brother who’s currently residing in Singapore and had come to his hometown- Bathinda for getting ‘Happily married’ to a girl ma aunt (Bua) n uncle chose for him. Must say he’s a way too obedient for his age and his generation J

I was attending a Punjabi wedding that I myself don’t remember after how many years. Yes, I was kindof excited. But at the same time was a little hesitated too as I knew it would be difficult to gel along with a crew of aunties I’ll be facing at Bua’s place, and who could talk nonstop for hours without requiring a deliberative topic at all. Not that I’m rude in talking to them or atleast wear that expression but just that our wavelengths generally do not match. I’ve not been a bright kid to answer those too direct questions from a Punjabi aunty whom I don’t even know by which relation to address to (aunty/chachi/mami and  a whole lot of variety to choose from) like’ kitti salary hai? Shaadi nai karni kya? kitta rent hai Hyderabad mein?............’ n d list goes on. Ufff, nothingelse makes me mad than such an open expression of curiosity to peep in others’ personal lives! Anyways, I try my best to escape such situations by using some lame tricks like quickly passing a (fully forced) sweet smile, nodding head to wish and then pretending to search Mom or Dad every now n then n the typical ‘ ek min aunty, I’ll be back’ and I wish they understood I have no such intensions at all.

I know I get a way too emotional on such seemingly petty issues but for me it’s always kinda ‘ jaan bacahao’ mission in such gatherings. Coming back to the ceremony called ‘Jaggo’, it’s actually a function that’s celebrated to let your neighbor colonies know that your son is going to win the world, (read a girl). Ask me why do they do that in the middle of the night after making sure that the entire neighborhood has dozed off, the answer is ‘Just for fun’!! aaah, that’s something I love about Punjab & Punjabiis, etiquette, manners, sophistication all those jazz words have  altogether different definitions in our dictionaries. It’s just perfectly alright if all of us,  in the middle of night, with a super loud personal rock band(the  dholwala n his group), were singing/shouting all those folks songs( boliyaan) and even some cheezy hindi songs (Jalebi Bai, munni, sheela n all) on the top of our lungs and on the road.

What was more interesting that we even knocked at some close (privileged) neighbors’ doors and went inside singing & dancing, woke them up, exchanged best wishes for the wedding to take place the next day and headed to another target. ………..Just for Fun!!

While coming back to my Bua’a home after waking up more than half of the neighborhood, there comes a street that’s occupied by some of the not so well to do families. They have small hut like houses and at the first look I could tell they dint have enough electricity to afford a luxury like a fan or a cooler. And I was just out of a place where we had almost every switch in the home turned on no matter if it was needed or not. How I wish I could lend some to those small kids who were playing outside their home, guess to feel tired enough to go to sleep without realizing the need for a fan or a cooler.

Among them there were these two really small kids who were singing & dancing on ‘ Lakk 28 kudi da, 47 weight kudi da’….. :D My My! one shouldn’t have missed the blush on their faces as they noticed I was smiling looking at them, no I wasn’t laughing, it was in admiration of that sheer innocence and the happiness I saw on their faces. I can tell they were happier than anyone else from our ‘Jaggo” band. I was wondering what in the world was making them so haapy!!

Here comes the moment I’m invited again by that ‘get back to the basics’ corner of my mind to contribute in a discussion that titles ‘Life can be beautiful and happy even when it doesn’t have apparently any signs of any luxury  that the world would recognize and admire’.  The DJ starts again at home and I’m dragged in the ‘nachange sari raat’ Jhalak dikh la ja group one more time.

In the midst of all this shor, whispers  the heart again ‘It goes on & The Journey never ends!!’ 

Light in the Dark!!

Every time when I felt overwhelmed with emotions, emotions of love, emotions of hatred, emotions of so and so on, I always wanted to post something on my first blog I named-The Journey never ends! Created it long back but till date I could never figure out what I wanted to write about here.

And today seems to have been a day for me that I don’t want to miss to write down about to remember it always in my memories. And ya now I know why it took so long to sit down blogging!

Me and my friend Garima were hosting a dinner and were looking for a good restaurant today to bid adieu to one of our common friends Parikshit who’s been one of the most awesome people I’ve known so far. I had heard about this place before, but never got a chance to visit. Today when my friend named it among the few options we shortlisted to host the dinner at, I immediately recommended this place as I wanted to explore some new place. The restaurant is called Dialogue in the Dark and as I’m always curious to explore things, places that carry a hint of being ‘Different/unique’!

We had almost paid for the booking we had made over the phone when this customer relationship manager interrupted us and started telling about the two different ‘EXPERIENCES (as they call it)’ they offer in DITD (the name is too long). I’m always deaf to these PR managers when they start narrating the stories about their products/services regardless of the ‘I’m not interested’ expression on my face. But still because both of my friends were so interested to listen to what ‘Unique Experiences’ they offer, I pretended to be involved in the conversation.

So, this restaurant has two sections- Food and Non-Food. But the theme, what captivated me so much, is the same - Darkness. Under their food section, these people serve a four course meal served in complete darkness such that you can’t see anything, anybody around, not even yourself. And the Non-food section was a mysterious trip in total dark as exaggerated by Mr. PR. Not that I was so convinced by this manager’s narration about their so unique ‘Andhera Kayam rahe’theme but I was sure I dint want to pay Rs.750 per head for the food when you don’t even get to see what the heaven are they serving you! The non-food ‘Darkness Tour’ sounded worth risk-taking @Rs. 350/head. So, we decided to take the so hyped tour and eat at a better place where we can at least see the menu.

Long story short is, three of us were pushed into a room where this manager introduced us to a female Voice (because she was standing at the edge of the room from where the restaurant’s Black Hole (read this term first in Std 10th I guess) started, we could just hear her)! As I boast of being a Punjabi sometimes, I had to behave stronger than two of my weak hearted friends who were just not ready to jump in that ocean of darkness at first. But honestly, at the first look of that dark tunnel type thing, the first feeling inside me was- Daar sabko lagta hai! Yet reminded myself you aren’t afraid of anything and anybody but your God, I decided to take the lead from thereon.

So, Mr. PR handed over to this lady named Neela (I wasn’t even sure if actually there was anybody standing there or it was some interactive pre-recorded voice that we were talking to). Convinced myself that it was a human, Neela seemed to be quite humble, just down to earth types. Yes, I admit for a second, the stupid thought of ‘bhoot voot ko follow to nahi kr rahe’ did strike me. But I kept on talking, giggling throughout to say no to all those making me feel scared thoughts. As we started moving ahead and the lady assured us there wouldn’t be any ‘Scary House’ drama inside, this unique tour of Darkness of three of us and that voice named Neela started turning Interesting and a lil adventurous!

Simply Incredible job on creating the Darkness! Doesn’t matter how much you strain your eyes, you shall not see anything, just nothing.  I was still the first in the row after Neela of course trying to gather all the courage and making Garima and Parikshit more comfortable and less fear struck. Neela dint hold my hand, just instructed clearly to move forward, take left-right, touch things on the way and make a guess. She cracked some jokes that I actually found lil lame but still laughed because I dint want to annoy the only person there who could see through the Darkness and take us out of this seemingly never-ending darkness!

A big nature freak that I am use to have frequent vague imaginations of sitting by a crystal clear water stream, in a calm, pleasant beautiful garden and of course accompanied by a life-injecting cool breeze and blah blah.I could never imagine I would FEEL all of this by all my senses but sight! She had taken us to some place on the way that I felt was egggjacktly the same I always wanted to go to. I was indeed Living a Dream with my eyes open wide but all I could see was Nothing! All I could do was to Feel and Believe it was there.

She kept on conversing with us with an amazing level of energy so that we were not afraid of the Darkness and could start enjoying things we could feel apart from that ‘kuch nahi dikh ra ya’ feeling! I must say within 15 mins after we started walking with that voice (Neela) I was chatting with her, teasing her on her not so funny jokes/riddles that she was trying to make us laugh/think at. She made us sit on a felt-like boat thing that was moving lil bak n forth and made us felt those artificial Zephyrs that I so wished could feel everyday if I was ever able to get up in early mornings.

I think It was the last five minutes of that Darkness trip, that she took us to what she told was a cafeteria. For the first time in the entire trip, I could hear some gals giggling, boys laughing and I swear I was fighting hard with myself to still stay Cool! And suddenly another heavy voice comes near to me and say- Hello Mam! Shoooooo, just shoooo away, I felt like screaming, aaaah but common Rashmi you can’t be the first one to scream in your group. I’m sure nobody could get to know this feeling going inside me when I said- Oh Hii! I’m fine, how are you, yeah we are enjoying the tour! Lol, they say Capricorns are the best at hiding their feelings sometimes and yeah I could see that in me totally!

So, it was nobody but just another colleague of Neela who was hosting his own group that had embarked on this See through Darkness tour few minutes before us. Ahhh, I was so relieved we are not alone here! But by that time Neela had done her job well, three of us were happy! I was telling her to play the music loud. And ya, I was dancing already while she was telling us- you can dance if you guys want to. Wow, Amazing was this feeling! I’m usually dumb-struck when the power goes off and I don’t have my phone with me and look, I’m dancing, dancing in the dark, and this darkness was for sure darker than any of those horrible, scary power  cuts I have ever experienced. So, while we bought some Lays and Pulpy Orange from another colleague of our Invisible Guide Friend (yes, I make friends a lil too quick sometimes) in the cafeteria. We had chit chat with Neela while enjoying lays and the orange juice for which we paid by feeling the size of the Rs.50 note.

Neela told she had done her graduation and was doing her M.com while working with DITD. She hailed from Karnatka. As I usually get too excited when I know I’m doing something unusual, I was just so curios to know if Neela had some Hollywood style 3-D glasses that help her see through the darkness. I mean common, it’s just not feasible for a girl to stay in that Den of Darkness on a daily basis and guiding groups of people with that so impeccable guidelines that none of them ever tripped over anything or did anything out of the line. But no, she said she was as free hands as all of us.

Shocked, surprised, not ready to believe I, with both of my friends, wanted to now see the light, enough, my eyes are puzzled if they are required to stay open or not. What a state! I can’t close my eyes despite of knowing for sure till now, that it’s not going to help me see anything anyhow.  Ohh yes, not to miss, Neela told us she plays Chess, she loves reading books and few other things that I felt was too much to handle with handling a job like this. I asked her and made sure she was coming out along with us because I was just so curious to know when our Ms. India Guide friend and we can see each other.

‘So, here we come to the Light!!!’, she declares and as I struggled with introducing my eye-balls to the light again, first thing I wanted to do was to See the face behind that Guiding Voice!

A shrilling sensation that’s still alive five hours after I saw her face went through my nerves down and made me stand numb there for moments. We shook hands with her and then hugged her and she left us there and went back in the Black Hole again.

Neela!! All of us could see Neela but No, she could not see any of us! She introduced us to the Dark and brought us out in the light just safe but only three of us could see the light and she, she was still in the dark!

Since then, I’m not able to forget those seconds of time when she was telling us all her hobbies and I made a comment guessing the obvious reason behind her choosing such a different profession of making people introduce to the Dark and she said- yes, I love Darkness!!

&

The Journey Never Ends!!